Picture a baby bump

My dear friend Dana who is a fabulous photographer took these fabulous shots to capture this time in our lives.

How incredibly handsome and sweet is my husband in this picture? I have never been so in love with my husband. :)

Hi baby! We can't wait to meet you... hurry up! On the home stretch now, yay!

My cup runneth over

It was decided a little while ago that our baby shower would be at our new place after we had moved. Things didn't go as planned so our move was delayed. It turns out we just moved last week, just days before the shower. Nothing like an upcoming party to motivate you to get the place together!

Words cannot express the amount of gratitude I have for the amazing ladies in my life that helped me SO much without whom the settling would not have been possible. Destini helped me paint both bedrooms (the baby room looks SO cute!) and Heather finished off the last coat in the master bedroom, climbing all the way up to reach the vaulted ceilings... because nobody lets me climb on ladders these days. :)

John was up too and he helped Dan do the heavy lifting and provided extra muscle with the big job of loading and unloading the moving truck. Dad John came over and helped those boys put stuff where it needed to go. And took apart and put together my big desk because it would not fit thru the doorway... thanks Dad!

My mom came down and stayed with us for 3 days and was an immense help in so many ways I can't even count them all. Let's just say the place looked and felt lived in in just a week, the fridge was full of goodies and mom had washed and folded loads of baby clothes. If I turn out to be half the mom my mother is, this kid might just be ok... Thanks mom! Thanks Des! Thanks Heather and John and Dad John. We love you!

And then, Mom and Des and Mom Nancy threw this beautiful baby shower and I had so much fun I hardly took any pictures. It was so nice to see everybody, it was so sweet how many people made the drive down even further away... and I just didn't feel like I had enough time with everyone.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, all.

Baby Shower

I didn't take many pictures, but had such a lovely day. Thank you to all the ladies who made the day so special and thank you for your generosity, the gifts and well wishes. It is finally starting to "hit me" that our baby will be here very SOON!

Amber and I and Sterling. He has got to be the cutest boy I've ever seen!
The hostesses of the party, the lovely Destini and my amazing mom, Maggie.
Aerial shot from the stairs... it was SO hot outside in the patio that we all just stayed inside.
Jeanie and I with Sydney. She is such a great little girl. Thanks for coming, Syd!
My maid of honor for always, Amie, in all her thoughtfulness, sent me a gift that arrived by mail right when I was opening presents. What timing, Ames! Thank you so much girl... you spoil me.
Isn't Destini's mom just darling? Cathy provided the biggest treat: Homemade cupcakes that were out of this world... Red Velvet (my fave), Carrot and Chocolate. Thanks, Cathy!

Mom Maggie, Mom Nancy, baby and baby mamma and Leslie.
Thanks again everyone for such a great day. We can't wait to meet our little man!!!
Much love from both of us.

I AM JACK'S GROWLING STOMACH

Ok I'll compromise. As far as names to use when referring to the growing space the baby takes up when you're pregnant, I'll give you "belly" because it's not a medically correct term anyway, it is a cute term of endearment. So, Belly, cute. Baby bump, ok, super cute too. But for those people that insist on knowing it all and being all up in your stuff when you are a pregnant woman, fine. But if you feel so qualified to be this way, then how about you stop calling it "the baby in my stomach."
Newsflash: There is NO baby in my stomach. Unless I had actually swallowed a baby, the only things you'd find in my stomach are digestive enzymes and the remains of my last meal, where Pepsin breaks the proteins down into tiny little polypeptides.

So please stop greeting me with "Ohhhh, look at your stomach!" or "Wow, your stomach is getting huge!" Actually, no, my stomach is getting smaller. My stomach has nothing to do with this baby except that said stomach is being shoved clear up into my esophagus and into my throat (Hello, heartburn!) by this baby that is rapidly growing in my uterus. But of course, one wouldn't want to take the time to get the facts straight. I am Jack's complete lack of surprise.

Another nice piece of trivia, is that as this uterus expands to unbelievable proportions, to make way for it, the abdominal wall muscles stretch and morph and actually separate. Yeah, thank you very much. That's enough to make me make a run for the liquor store and do a shot of something strong and delicious. (Yes, this is a joke, see Humor: a : that quality which appeals to a sense of the ludicrous or absurdly incongruous. b : the mental faculty of discovering, expressing, or appreciating the ludicrous or absurdly incongruous. c : something that is or is designed to be comical or amusing)

This alcohol, by the way, would end up in my stomach, way before it was absorbed into the bloodstream, crossed the placenta and my baby knew what hit him.


;)

(I guess I shouldn't assume everyone will get the reference to "Jack's..." It's a quote from the movie Fightclub, which if you haven't, you must see. In the movie, there are these references to this teaching aide for different diseases and parts of the body, etc, with "Jack" being the name they use. It's too hard to explain. Watch the movie. It's a classic.)

EVERYONE is a BABY EXPERT

I must say that I am really enjoying this third trimester business. I look very pregnant, which eliminates any confusion as to whether or not I just let myself go. And I can feel baby move all day which is by far my favorite part of pregnancy. Probably the best part, for me.

My doctor said I'm "ahead of schedule" in growth, which I'm sure it is French for "You're probably going to have a really big baby so prepare to buckle down." And he will double in weight and size in the next 6 weeks... Yay. Aside from the fact that I have this huge hard volleyball for a belly that, by the way, my BRAIN has not fully accounted for the extra circumference still, since I keep running into things and people, I ironically, feel exceptionally well.

We have taken baby to birthday parties, weddings and on bike rides. I don't know to what I owe all this great energy (hormones, I'm sure) but I'll take it, while I'm still sleeping thru the night. (Some nights).

I have had the BEST workouts the past few weeks. I'm on my usual workout routine except that I am using a lot less weight. For example, I had to take off 40 lbs off my squat, but still felt really good.
And my energy level in Karate has been amazing. Well, it is, after all, my favorite activity that's not on wheels. I totally forget that I'm pregnant. Except for the fact that I look ridiculous in my Gi and my instructors are making fun of it by wearing their belts above their belly. Thanks.
And now for my rant. Which is half the reason I have this blog. I didn't know that I lived among so many people with Baby PhDs. I seriously didn't realize how many people, regardless of their occupation, are moonlighing as know-it-all pregnancy and baby experts.

I may have questions for my DOCTOR or another MOM from time to time, but I am being bombarded by unsolicited advice by the housekeeper, the grocery clerk, the random person in line at the pharmacy. First of all, a lot of these people have never even had children. Second of all, most of them have never even cracked open a Grey's anatomy (the actual Grey's anatomy book, not the lame show on TV) so I'm not sure what qualifies them to shoot out the type and caliber of advice they are spewing out at an alarming rate.

I would not dream of giving Dan motorcycle maintenance advice any more than he would dare tell me that I'm titrating my patient's IV drips incorrectly, just because he just happened to catch an episode of Nurse Jackie.

The only thing worse, is the people that start by warning you that they are about to give you advice. They start with "I know you probably don't want to hear this, but what you really should do is..." (fill in the blank) or such as: "start sanding down your nipples now, in preparation for when you start breastfeeding."

Ok. first of all, if you have to begin with "You probably don't want to hear this" then you are right. I don't. So why push forward with that? And I don't want to think about fine vs coarse sandpaper grit as it pertains to my nipples. Frankly, my nipple texture is none of anyone's business.

And enough with the futuristic questions: "Are you going to...?" (fill in the blank). "Are you going to start your baby on solids by X-months old?" "Are you going to introduce the bottle early?" "Are you going to send him to private school?"

Sloooow down, there, Mario Andrade. Hell if I know. I'm not there yet, how about I decide when the time comes? But wait, let me guess, Miss Cleo, you're about to tell me.

The one thing I've learned for sure, is that NOTHING works for everyone and that the only thing that works for you is, guess what, what works for you. That's it. It's that simple. Every person, every woman, every baby, is an individual. It's the same as dieting. If one miracle diet worked for everyone, we'd all look like Jessica Alba.

You do what works for you and forget about everything else. And you won't know until you try it. If only all these self-proclaimed baby experts would give you enough room and time to try to try it.

Before I leave you feeling like I'm totally insensitive, please know that yes, I know that the majority of people just mean well. Most of it really just is friendly advice and just making conversation. And I really enjoy talking to other pregger women and brand new parents. We can relate real-time.

I'm talking about the other 5% of people. The ones that just want to spread their misery. The baby police. I just want to vent more to amuse myself, than for anything else. But on the other hand, I think it's only fair that I start handing unsolicited advice right back. Especially if it's in an area I have no business giving advice.

Go to anybody's job. Then stand over their shoulder and give them advice as to how they are doing it. It's the same thing. If motherhood is a job (albeit the best job in the world, from what I hear) then let the moms do it the way they want. If I need help or advice, I'll ask for it. The fact that something happened to you, or didn't happen to you, doesn't mean I have to shut down and worry that I'm going to have the same experience. I might. Or I might not. But I refuse to waste a second of my day worrying about it. I just want to enjoy the process.

The fact that it IS all new to me and I don't know what to expect, is half the excitement for me.

Motherhood is instinctual. My baby is not born yet and I already understand this. Women have been having babies for millions of years. There are billions of people being born right now, to mothers who did not take baby/parenting classes, who did not spend hours with a lactation consultant, didn't have the internet and they are doing fine.

I am VERY happy to be pregnant and having this baby. And yes, I want to celebrate it! Let's celebrate the baby, the miracle that it is to have a human being grow inside your belly (it's really your uterus, but that just doesn't sound as cute) celebrate life in general. Ask a pegnant woman how she's doing/feeling, she'll answer, then she'll ask you how YOU are doing, then move on.

Unless you see me running in high heels with scissors directly pointed at my uterus, while simultaneously ingesting a cup of rat poison, you can assume I'm probably not in need of advice at that moment.

:)