Merry Christmas, Logan

This was a Christmas like no other, because Logan Vaughn was a part of it. After having been so good at the Annual Xmas party, he then got to celebrate with and be loved by more family and friends. We spent Christmas eve at my brother Ivan's home and Logan got to meet his gorgeous cousins and spend time with uncle Ivan and Gramma and Granpan.

Nevie and uncle Dan

Eden and Neveah get to know baby Logan
My sweet niece
The best part of the evening was watching the girls open their presents. They are so precious!
Logan had a few presents of his own... but looks like he is eyeing the home-made Kahlua bottle, instead.
Christmas Day we spent it at home and Granny and Grandad came over with yummy food.

Dozing on Grandad's lap

Three generations of Hallada boys

Passed out on Granny's arms

Miko anxiously awaited the opening of the presents so he could then eat the paper

Our last holiday celebration was with more friends
Logan did very well at all the Chrismas parties... it's when we get him home alone with us that he complains! He's a party animal!

Merry Christmas, son. We love you.

Annual Christmas Party: Family and Friends

This year's annual friends and family Christmas party gave Logan the opportunity to go on his first little road trip and stay in his first hotel. Turns out, just like mama, he loved staying in the hotel. He did really well. Surprising us all!
Heather and John hosted the party at their lovely home

Santa's Little Helper not feeling the photo shoot

It was the greatest party. We started a band. Dante's Inferno. Dan on guitar and vocals, Tati on drums, Dante on percussion and John on bells, or whatever that instrument was called...

The greatest of friends...

Our bored picture

Our "looking cute" picture

Santa's Little Helper did SO well at the party and even slept when we got to the hotel room. We were so proud of him and thankful he was able to party with us! We love you baby!

As we continue the family tradition that was started by the Halladas, Heilmans and Newmans it's so neat to see how as their kids now have kids and have welcomed more families into the tradition, the "family" keeps growing and Logan has this to look forward to every year!

A month in. Lessons, reality and proclamations

I don't know if it's because he's ours, but we think he's just the cutest baby we've ever seen ... And he's a little scrapper... why is it he's always ready to punch someone? :)

We have learned quite a bit this week, this whole month, with him. I have spent a lot of time on google, a lot of that time in the middle of the night, with my iPhone on Google, which also serves as a night light. Now, remember, the nurses did not teach me anything before I left the hospital so Dan and I knew very little on what to expect. He has had quite a transformation already and if it weren't for Google and our pediatrician backing it up, we might not be as calm.

This little guy, would have had us wondering when he was able to leave the house long enough to catch dysentery, as he has an incredible amount of diarrhea. Apparently, this is perfectly normal for infants. Good to know.

Also, he is NOT hitting puberty early, apparently, "baby acne" is another phenomena that is normal for infants. Again, good to know.

Two days ago I wondered where he picked up some reptilian DNA as he was shedding skin on his entire body. I thought we were going to be left with an empty baby skin mold. It was impressive. The nurse at the doctor's said he's just "shedding his first skin" and again, perfectly normal.

One morning, he woke up with his little eye completely shut in by this yellow goop. Of course, a normal person, an adult would think, Oh my gawd, severe eye infection. Come to find out, another common thing in infants, is a clogged tear duct. Oh, good. Poor little guy, just needs to get his ducts in a row!

Well, let's see, what else happened this week...

He must be focusing better now, because he actually acted amused by his little animal gym...

OK... I just want to eat him. Starting with his feet.
Seriously, why are baby feet so cute?
New friend:
A few more friends came to meet Logan Vaughn this past week: Stephanie!
And Jason and Lisa! Thanks for lunch, guys! We love our friends :)

And I'm so grateful to Jeanie and Monika. You guys are the best... next time we need to get your pic with Logan V for the blog of fame! :)

Now a few words on PROCLAMATIONS:
When I was pregnant I vowed to my husband that I would not “let myself go” just because I was preggers. To still take care of myself and not walk around in mis-matched patterns and sweats all the time with my hair in a bun or heaven forbid, in a scrunchie. I don’t even own a scrunchie. I had this whole “I’m knocked UP. Never knocked DOWN” attitude. All in all, I managed pretty well with that thru my pregnancy. Being pregnant, you have some, if not, a lot of control over these things still.

I also made a whole lot of proclamations about being a mother. I mean, I just KNEW that it would come naturally to me. I figured that, well, Logan is coming into OUR lives, after all. It will be HIM that will adjust to what we already have going on here. (Please take a moment to laugh at me now… Done? Good, OK, let’s move on)

I have listened to many a story from my mommy friends about how they “can never get a shower” and cut off their hair because they “never have time to wash/blow dry or comb their hair.” While I listened intently and tried to understand, I just couldn't’. I mean, I just couldn’t see why or how a small little infant could have such power over you that you could not even perform simple acts of hygiene.

I have learned more in this past week than I ever have my whole life. And I have a feeling that this trend will continue. I have a little teacher, in diapers, living at my house. I knew I was in love with him before he was born. It was like I had this “virtual” relationship with this little man and on his due date, we were finally going to meet face-to-face after communicating with each other for 10 months… Then I met him and yup, I was totally in love with him. Not more than my husband, just different, of course.

This past month I have come to many understandings. First of all, I understand that he is the boss, although I am not sure how that happened. I was pretty used to being my own boss and working for myself my whole life, that this realization has not come easy. The funny thing is, I don’t resist it, I’m just amused by it. I'm usually just walking around going: "Serioulsy? You're going to scream again? Seriously, now?"

The main goal and purpose of every waking hour is basically to make him happy. When he has had tough days and cried and cried despite my every effort to console him, I cried right onto his little Doggie pajamas because I didn’t know what to do for him.

And I understood then, again, how my mother loves me. I would sooner cut off my own arm than to watch him hurt or be uncomfortable. I think of all the times I’ve been hurt, physically or otherwise, what my mother must have felt. I know that crying is how he communicates and that he may not necessarily be in pain, but when he pouts, it just breaks my heart. Then again, when he’s happy and calm and looks like he’s trying to smile… now THAT’s like a shot of adrenaline straight to the heart. Pulp Fiction style.

Yeah, I made a lot of proclamations. And it’s not that I didn’t mean them or don’t intent to follow thru or at least die trying. It’s just that I am now part of a group of people, a cult, where things happen that you would not know or understand until you are “in.” Now I’m really, really in.

I know that while I made these proclamations while pregnant I was having hormonal hallucinations of how life would be all perfect with my perfect little quiet infant looking quietly and lovingly up at me while I quietly and painlessly nursed him back to sleep, lulling him quietly into his 16th nap of the day. Just in time to put on my lip gloss and let down my hair, finish dinner and put it on the table and light the candles before my husband came home. I mean, this CAN happen. I am sure of it. Maybe just not ALL at once… I used to love DQ and I don’t mean Dairy Queen. I mean, I liked everything Dark and Quiet. I could not fall asleep unless the room was pitch black dark, and there was no sound. I would get up in the middle of the night and go hunt for a cricket 100 yards away because it was keeping me up.

The only way Logan falls asleep is with four hundred distracting noises and vibrating, swinging gadgets. So now we have wave sounds, bouncing, vibrations, white, black, brown, orange and red noise, you name it, and a night light… and if he’s sleeping, I’ve never slept better. Actually, if he’s sleeping for more than a few hours, we both wake up anyway and make sure he’s OK. See? Instant parents. Just add hormones. I am still amazed at how good of a Daddy Dan is naturally. It is the sweetest thing in the world.

So you start off like you do any relationship: With the best of intentions. Hey, I still think I’m going to puree all my own baby food in my Cuisinart when he’s 5 months old. Please don’t try to talk me out of it, I won’t listen. For someone who has been in somewhat reasonable control of myself my whole life, this parenting, is an area in which I have no control of what’s coming. But I love getting to know Logan and still want to do things my way, by that I mean, do what works to keep him happy and safe doing the things I/we believe are right for him.

I feel like I’ve got just one shot at getting him off to the best start possible… there will be plenty of things in life that I will not be able to –nor want to- protect him from. But in the first year or two especially, God has given Dan and I this huge responsibility, where he DOES depend on us to do right by him.

God creates us and we are born with, amazing potential. I just want to do everything in my power to ensure that potential is not damaged. Well, we will start small. We will work on building up his immune system for now, and work on his moral character later. Say, next month.

Christmas tree farm

We took Logan to the Christmas tree farm to help us pick out a tree
We showed him the snow-covered ones, but he could not be fooled, he knew it was fake...

We showed him several types of green trees, but he just didn't like any of them

Ok. I'll stop pretending he had ANY idea what the heck was going on. All he was really thinking was: Boob, poop, sleep. Repeat. Please put me back in that cozy carseat.

We left, with no tree. We already have all the CHRISTMAS we need with Logan Vaughn :)

Breastfeeding: NOT for the faint of heart

Bottle-Fed Babies:














There are those people that choose to breastfeed, those that choose to use formula, then there are the Lactivists, those that will go lengths to convince you that breastfeeding is the ONLY way and will make you feel an incredible amount of guilt if breastfeeding is either not your choice or does not work for you.

I’d heard about these people before, mostly because I’ve been doing research on anything and everything that was coming since Logan was a zygote. It was never really an issue, since one of the first decisions I made when my stick turned “blue” was the decision to breastfeed. I didn’t choose that because I considered myself a Lactivist, I simply figured I would since, well, I have boobs.

And the whole passing-on-antibodies-to-my-baby thing was also high on my list. Kill two boobies with one stone. (A boobie is actually a bird, so it's the ultimate double-intended pun)


<---The blue-footed boobie










. I am here to tell you now that it certainly is not as easy as that sounds. Boobs + Baby does not necessarily = Happy satisfied boy.


. The pros of course, were obvious, that skin to skin contact with baby, passing on those important disease fighting antibodies that the baby can't get anywhere else; The protein in breastmilk is supposed to be easier to digest for baby; helps your body recover from childbirth more quickly by releasing hormones that contract your uterus and reduce post-partum bleeding. Now, that part is true, as I came home looking 7 months pregnant and after a week and a half of nursing the belly seemed to melt away. Of course, still nowhere near my fighting weight but hey, I’m not allowed to work out for another 3 weeks.


. All that is fine and dandy and I totally believe it and am on board with it all. But, what nobody tells you about all the other stuff. What other stuff? Um, for starters, how about the fact that it HURTS? We are talking nipple clamp attached to high voltage power cables pain. Not to mention it leaves them resembling something more like nipple tartare.


. Then there’s the whole issue of trying to get a good latch. They showed us 3 breastfeeding holds in the class I took. Of course, with the fake baby I had it down. I think I made up a few of my own. And even with that, we still have had some not so good feeding sessions. By that I mean, if the latch isn’t perfect, then he doesn’t get what he wants, then he gets angry, then… well, refer to paragraph above: “nipples tartare.”


. Then there's the whole "Supply and Demand" issue too. The demand has been high... so now they hurt when they're full. And then they hurt while being emptied...


. Walking around in a bra or topless in the same room with an infant is suddenly ok. Actually, it’s damn good time-management. The less clothing there is standing between Logan and his good stuff, the better. He screams and you want to get him to it right away, trust me. . AND as if this wasn’t time consuming enough, some women (read: me) also need to use a breastPUMP to keep up with milk supply. Luckily, it doesn’t hurt, like my sweet baby’s gums do but as the pump pumps your valuable-as-gold-milk, it also drains you of whatever sexiness you thought you had left. Unless of course you know how to make looking like a Fembot work for you…


. Well, Logan took to the boob from the very first hours of his life, seriously, he was like the poster child for breastfeeding. We continued to do well with it until we got home from the hospital, (of course) then hit a rough patch, or two. We had a few tough nights, where for some reason Logan was inconsolable. Short of getting a crystal ball, we tried everything: His diaper was changed, he was fed, he was warm, he'd had a shot of Whiskey… still, we couldn't figure out what was up. We didn't know what but we knew something was not totally right.


. So having taken a Breastfeeding Class I’d made a few contacts a few months back. So I called a Lactation Consultant and she met us right away. On a Saturday. On her day off. She was an angel from heaven. She helped us figure out that while Logan appeared to be feeding, my milk milk had not "come in" yet and while he was ready for MORE there was not much there for him.


. Therefore, he was basically angry that I was giving him this empty boob. He was actually starving. Who knew? He had also lost way more weight than he should have. See, this is why babies should be born with an alternative method of communication. This whole screaming your head off business doesn’t work well for me at all. Long story short, we ended up having to supplement for 24 hours and I started and continued to follow a pumping/feeding schedule that finally worked for us. . I was very disappointed thinking I might have to (gasp!) give my baby a bottle. I mean, don't babies that aren't breastfed grow up to be criminals and social outcasts???


. Well, we did seem to fix the problem, at least at first. And when the feedings go well, they go really well. There is nothing like a satisfied little boy after a good meal: Bottom line is, I do love nursing. I love it because of the bondage, I mean, bonding with Logan. And knowing I am giving him the good stuff. I will continue to do it as long as it is humanly possible, even if sometimes I do have to tap out.

And it does maintain that extra cup size or two. Although I still can't decide if that's good or bad. It's good for the black holiday cocktail dress. Bad for Karate, sparring or trying to zip up my biking armor.

So I digress. If breastfeeding were to not work out, hey, you have to be flexible. What else is a mom to do? The days of "wet nurses" are long gone and let's face it, that just sounds gross to me. Then what else is there? Give your child up for adoption to a woman that's a milk factory? Don't be a boob.

Logan: Week 3

Logan is 3 weeks old today. I don't think I'll keep doing weekly postings, though, or we will run out of internet! He just seems to change so much in the beginning. Of course, we think he gets cuter every day. :)

Well, he still hates to be bathed. Every time, he acts as if I were lowering him into a pit of snakes. He somehow managed to pose really cute for me afterwards, though. No upset face here!

And one night this week, he slept from midnight to 6am AND then he sat on his bouncy seat happily while I took a shower AND blowdried my hair!!! (Of course it hasn't happened since)

Miko takes his job of guarding Logan, very seriously...
We are just so happy and so in love with our little boy. It has been SO nice to have Dan home for these past 3 weeks!
He still loves to be all wrapped up with mama

He has tried a wide range of amusing, vibrating, musical seats...
Started to enjoy some Tummy Time with mama

Dad provides some visual stimulation...
We continue to take Logan on strolls around the neighborhood. He loved being all bundled up in this, my favorite little outfit! (Thanks, Auntie Amie!)

Again, lots of wardrobe changes. Pants are still too big for him :)

Lots of lounging with mom and dad
My pride and joy
Our close friends visited Logan this week too... "Auntie" Destiny
And "Uncle" Marlon and "Auntie" Coral brought Logan 3-week old bday cupcakes... Yum!