Information overload

Information. There IS information OVERLOAD. I of course read EVERYthing. Then I realized that I may not WANT to know EVERYthing. What I have quickly learned (not by reading, but by feeling and just sitting quietly and experiencing whatever is happening at that moment) is that I know. It's not so much that I know, but my body knows.

Our little Fig Newton at 11 weeks 3 days

It's the most amazing thing how we have no training and know not what to expect yet if we just chill and wait, everything, and I mean everything takes care of itself. You feel like crap, of course, but that is just a blessing in disguise too so you don't put anything in your mouth that might be harmful or do something stupid. That's what I keep telling myself, anyway. I'm sure it keeps you from doing crazy things, too. I mean, since after 6 weeks, I have not felt like I could ride my moto or bike. I might fall asleep on the handlebars... (Last time I got the moto dirty was at 6 weeks...)

So the way I feel about all this information overload and the loads of unsolicited advice is this:

Women have been having babies for cabillions of years. They always figured it out, even without, gasp!, yes, the internet and all the technology we have now. And while everyone may share experiences, and we may draw knowledge from each other, everyone is different and we are all entitled to our OWN experience.

At least for me, there is nothing less welcome than unsolicited advice. That being said, that doesn't mean I don't want advice, I just would like to ask for it first. I like figuring things out on my own and really being present in my own experiences. Just ask my mom, she'll tell you. I've always been this way.

I just don't want to hear another person's self-righteous predictions of how MY life is going to change and what she thinks I'm going to be feeling. I also don't want to hear how they never felt any nausea or were lucky enough to be devoid of any pregancy symptoms and everything was peachy. Or the other extreme of how they never had a life again after baby was born and how my marriage will fall apart because I won't be able to make time for my husband and how we'll never take a vacation again because for some reason (that I still can't understand) it's impossible for them to pack up their babies and travel. I'm not denying it will be more difficult, considerably more difficult than traveling alone and/or on a whim, but it's not impossible. MY parents took me, and my brothers, everywhere. Well, until we were old enough to actually enjoy ourselves...

And NO! I don't want to hear that I will never get my body "back." I simply don't believe that's true. And yes, we will be finding out the sex of our baby whenever it's ultrasoundly possible and no, yeah, we really don't want to be "surprised" at 41 weeks or 42 weeks or whenever my bundle decides to get outta here. Why? Trust me, we are going to be just as surprised to find out what it "is" at 19 weeks as we will at 41 weeks. It's only a 50/50 chance, people. Plus I want to call it by some name that is not food related. What do you call him/her at 40 weeks, anyway? Watermelon? And no, we still have not decided on a name. :)

If it's your first pregnancy (it might be the same for all, I don't know) and you've already experienced a loss there is nothing more welcoming than signs and symptoms and feelings that you "expect" to feel. NAUSEA? Bring it on. FATIGUE? Is that all you got? CLUMSINESS? I'm wearing my riding gear to drive. FORGETFULNESS? I make lists and lists of where I keep my lists. HIGHLY EMOTIONAL? Dan is used to me crying at baby commercials or people growing old together commercials or while watching Discovery Channel. (watching an Orca whale being released back into the wild and trying to make little orca friends had me going thru a full box of Kleenex).

But if you feel anything that you don't know what it is, a cramp, a pain, this sends you in this internal panic that I can't even begin to describe. Is it gas? Is it a normal cramp? was it something I ate? Should I sit down? Should I call 911? Where's my mother when I need her... Should I freak the hell out? Is it normal? That is probably the most common question in every preggers woman's mind out there....

Is it normal? And all you can do is take a few chill pills (yes, they are safe to take during pregnancy) and pray. Pray, pray, pray that yes, indeed, it is, normal.